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Advice Section: The Flirting Body

Before you can even say hi and how are you etc. your first and lasting impression giving someone is from your body language. Your body language emanates powerful signals for your dates to determine whether they are fascinated by your presence or simply turn them off.

Do you realise before you have even spoken a word to the person you fancy, 80% of their first impression about you is judge on the way you walk and the way you stand. We all make quick judgement based on people’s appearance, posture and movement.  So it is important to learn to use our body to send out the right flirting signal if you want to be successful in dating.

The Flirting Triangle
When we look at strangers such as in a business setting, we look from eye to eye and across the bridge of the with a zigzag motion, whilst with friends, we look from eye to eye but also look down to include the nose and mouth in a triangle shape.

Once we start flirting, the triangle will get bigger and bigger and it will include the genital area. As the flirting intensified, we will look more from eye to eye as well as spending more time looking at their mouth. Watching someone’s mouth while they are talking can be very seductive which can be translated as imagining or signalling kissing.

Mirroring is an effective technique of building instant trust and rapport. This simply means that you do whatever they are doing, just like looking into a mirror. If they lean forward to tell you something intimate, you lean in to meet them. If they sit back to take a sip of their drink and look you in the eye, you pause then do the same.

The theory behind mirroring is that we like people who are similar to us. If someone is doing what we're doing, we feel we can trust them and get on well with them.
However, two things you must remember, firstly, only mirror positive body language and second, don’t make it too obvious to mimicking them. It would only be a good move if you would wait around 50 seconds before following their gestures.

The Eyebrow Flash
When we first see someone who we are attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. They also raise their eyebrows in return if they are equally attracted to you. If you have never noticed such gesture, it is because the eyebrow flashes only happen within about a fifth of a second. Our subconscious mind however can register this gesture very quickly.

This gesture is universal and is duplicated in every culture in the world. Some experts believe it is the most instantly recognisable non-verbal greeting language used by all races. You can catch a glimpse of this gesture by prolonging your eyebrow flash towards someone for a second and observe their equal respond if they are interested.

If you find someone attractive, you will subconsciously point at them with your hands arms, feet, legs and toes.? Consciously observe yourself and your body direction when you are having a conversation with someone you are interested in.

As this is an unconscious indicator of our intentions, it is often a good way to distinguish if someone is interest in you.

When we see someone we fancy, our pupils dilate and our eyes will also blink with high frequency. You can certainly make a situation in your favour by trying to increase your blinking frequency when talking to someone you are interested in. If the person likes you, they' will unconsciously return the same blinking frequency to synchronize with yours.

Smile and make sure your body is upright. When you are smiling you are signalling to people that you are friendly and approachable. You upright posture on the other hand tells people that you are confident, sociable and willing to engage with other people.

Never cross your arms because it is often perceived as a defensive posture. You are also telling others that you want to be left alone. If someone is crossing their arms and their responses to your conversation is short with minimal eye contact, they are simply telling you that they are not interested in you and they would like to be left alone.

So never jump to conclusion by looking at only one positive flirting signal, instead, take you time to observe the overall behaviour. If they are exhibiting at least four positive signals, it is highly suggesting that you are on the right track. Once you have identified your willing target, throw in all the five secret signals liberally and most of all enjoy the company and the experience. Good Luck and good dating!!

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